Who are the "World's Stroppiest Actors"?

Who said it: "I like dogs that can do something and I don't like dogs that can't or won't." (L-R) Gary Sinise, Charlie Sheen or Tommy Lee Jones?

Because this blog has completely imploded over the last week or so, I'd like to hand off the quality control for a moment to Ray Pride, my Chicago-based colleague who recently revived this magnificent piece of work from its print crypt to the ecstatic eternity of the Web. While I have heard Pride tell one or two of these stories in person, and while the beleaguered reporter in me takes a heightened joy in what you may perceive as inside baseball, such crisp, outrageous glimpses of actor/journalist combat must never, never be overlooked.

To wit, Pride on junketeering with Gary Sinise:

Sinise wastes little of his much-advertised theater training to appear less than disagreeable. Make the mistake of telling him who you write for, he's likely to snort his contempt not only for the publication, but that you would stoop to writing for them. Looking at his homely scowl and puffed-up muscles, you wonder: who died and made you talented?

And on bonding with Charlie Sheen:

"Do I seem angry? I'm not angry. I'm just... neutral." He pauses, turns his face into a scowl, "Yeah, I'm fucking pissed! What about it!" He breaks into a big smile. Your plans next? "I'm going to my father's birthday tonight. You bring the Diet 7-up, I'll bring the crushing familial guilt."

And, classically and at length, on his quality time with Tommy Lee Jones:

Jones gives his best performance in answering the question, So how about working with that goddam little pug dog? Talking in circles like a pup trying to sit, he answers, "Um-hum. No problem. That little dog. I wound up liking that little dog. ... At first, I didn't like him or trust him because he's a dog. But when he showed that he could do something, then I liked him. I like dogs that can do something and I don't like dogs that can't or won't. I like good dogs, I don't like bad dogs, okay?" He laughs.

As do I. Also of note is a failed Morgan Freeman filibuster and an only slightly cynical Harrison Ford. I'm grateful to have had my own good times of late, but leave it to Pride to really bring the magic -- a true must-read.

Posted at October 19, 2006 4:48 PM