Oscar's Exes and "Oh!"s

I know that the Father of The Reeler, David Carr, is nobly upholding a grueling regimen in Hollywood today, but the best Oscar story in The NY Times might be this toothsome dish served up by Stephanie Rosenbloom:

You can bet your Oscar pool, though, that none of the celebrities attending the Academy Awards tonight will be ducking behind a massive gold statue or sprinting down the red carpet to evade a former flame.

Why would they? While the majority of heartbroken Americans must devise their own sophomoric strategies for dodging former sweethearts, celebrities have publicists to deftly manage their Ex Capades.

Now this is the near-perfect metaphor of what the Oscars are about: not the movies; not the bloggers; not even the stars and their vanity, really. It's about a strategy marathon comparable to D-Day and the publicity brass calling its shots. Expect Ronn Torossian to pull up in a Jeep wearing aviator sunglasses and his jaw clenching a pipe:

Before a high profile event, Mr. Torossian of 5W contacts other publicists and event planners to find out if or when one of his clients’ exes will be there. Because he is not always willing to take other publicists at their word, he will also call “friendly reporters” along the red carpet to confirm which famous faces have already arrived, he said. ...

These protective services extend beyond public appearances and red carpet functions. If the exes are in the middle of a media frenzy, “We’ll call the gym or the grocery store beforehand so if somebody’s ex is there, my client won’t walk in,” Mr. Torossian said.

What? A publicist would lie? Sounds like someone buried the real story.

Posted at February 25, 2007 2:10 PM